It is Friday morning, and when i walk into the office i can feel my stomach clench. *sigh*

I will assume that i am somewhat less intelligent than anyone around me, at most moments i'll suspect that the privilege i enjoy was conferred as some kind of peculiar hoax. i will be certain that no matter what i do i will not do it well enough and when i fail, i know that i will burn with shame. i wanna cry...just for 5 minute or more.

By friday, my nerves will be so brittle from sleeplessness and presure and intellectual fatigue that i will not be certain i can make it through the day. i do not have the time to read a novel or magazine, and i am so far removed from news of world event that i often feel as if i've fallen off the dark side of the planet. 

Now, I am distracted at most times and have difficulty keeping up a conversation even with my self. weird? YES! I am likely to be stricken with acute feeling of panic, indefinite need, depression and the pep talks and irony i practice on my self  only seem to make worse. there are many moments when i am simply a mess. 

27 September 2013, i just remember today is Oqi Birthday. tapi gak punya keberanian buat sekedar ngirim email, yahh emang searusnya gak ngucapin juga sih. 

well, im  fine now.

Setelah begitu banyak hal yang terjadi akhirnya gue bisa ngeblog lagiiihh.

karena banyaknya sosial media yang hadir blakangan path, twitter, dan kehebohan gue

jadi suka lupa kadang kalo gue punya blog. hahahaha..

I have few ambitions in my life and I work hard to achieve my goals

Patience and perseverance are among the good qualities that I have but a bit stubborn sometimes. I am a girl of determination and high self esteem.. so now, apa yang gue kerjakan sekarang adalah hal yang emang pengen gue lakuin kadang ngerasa cape sihh kerja dilawfirm tapi kadang gue dapat banyak pelajaran gak brasa kerja malah ahahahaha...kayak sekarang lagi nonton tv sambil baca buku. Kalo lagi autis yaah... gue bisa lhoo gak tidur 3 ari karena kerjaan. Tapi yang pasti gue skarang sangat menghargai yang namanya hari LIBUR!

Hari Libur buat gue adalah hari menye menye sambil merem melek dikamar.

Gue akan mematikan hp or gak akan membalas sms apa pun yang berhubungan dengan kerjaan. Nyalon, nonton dvd, bangun siang, gak mandi searian, ngemall, nongkrong, jalan ama mamake bapake adalah kegiatan gue. simpel yak? hahahahhaha...

Kalo duluu gue suka ngedumel sama love life gue skarang gue lebih banyak "yauuudaalaahhh.."

Dulu panik galau sedih awut-awutan kalo brantem or putus sama pasangan skarang galauu tingkat provinsi kalo liat kerjaan gak slesei artinya hidup gue ada pergerakan.

Kalo dulu ngeliat temen yang belok ke hal yang gak bener secara gak langsung suka gak sadar gue ngejudge mereka, skarang gue cuma bisa bilang masing-masing orang punya keidupan sendiri-sendiri dan pilihan sendiri yah jalanin apapun slama lo ngerasa bahagia.  I dislike people who r complex, narrow minded and do backbite.so  i dont wanna be like that too.

Apa yang gue alamin kemaren-kemaren udah mengajarkan banyak hal, gue udah kebal laahh intinya.

Smangaaattt kerjaaaaaa.. gajian seminggu lagi. #gagalfokus