It is Friday morning, and when i walk into the office i can feel my stomach clench. *sigh*

I will assume that i am somewhat less intelligent than anyone around me, at most moments i'll suspect that the privilege i enjoy was conferred as some kind of peculiar hoax. i will be certain that no matter what i do i will not do it well enough and when i fail, i know that i will burn with shame. i wanna cry...just for 5 minute or more.

By friday, my nerves will be so brittle from sleeplessness and presure and intellectual fatigue that i will not be certain i can make it through the day. i do not have the time to read a novel or magazine, and i am so far removed from news of world event that i often feel as if i've fallen off the dark side of the planet. 

Now, I am distracted at most times and have difficulty keeping up a conversation even with my self. weird? YES! I am likely to be stricken with acute feeling of panic, indefinite need, depression and the pep talks and irony i practice on my self  only seem to make worse. there are many moments when i am simply a mess. 

27 September 2013, i just remember today is Oqi Birthday. tapi gak punya keberanian buat sekedar ngirim email, yahh emang searusnya gak ngucapin juga sih.